Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Dreamless
I know we dream multiple dreams every night. We just don't always remember them. The past two nights have been that way for me. Since i decided to write and keep up with them i no longer remember them. that isn't entirely true. i actually had a dream, or thought, since that is all dreams really are, thoughts, before i actually fell asleep. it was about 10 minutes after i laid down and i was awakened from a jolt, i hate when i do that, but anyway after i woke myself i realized what i was thinking or dreaming about, which was riding horses with Asian men....weird i know. Consequently to deciding to record my dreams, I started to read Dream Psychology: Psychoanalysis for Beginners by Sigmund Freud. Just something I naturally am interested in and cannot help it. I find myself drawn to psychology and psi books all the time. Well anyway I am writing this before bed time I hope I have some good dreams tonight. I just took an allergy pill cause the allergies are coming in a strong way now that it is close to Septmeber. So benadryl is saying "Aaaashleeyyy, it's time to go to beeeed" I must follow these demands before my face hits this keyboard. I just read that last sentence and it just creeped me out. I have the heebiejeevies now, goosebumps and all.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Dreams
I decided to keep track of my dreams. they are so entertaining to me and feel so real that I think they are worth writing down. I am going to start off with the last two night's dreams. I didn't decide to publish them until today after writing the second one. So maybe sometimes I will have more than one dream to blog. But starting out I will have two. Please excuse all of the grammar errors, I just wrote them quickly and some of it from my phone. Thinking that I need to get it copied down before I forget about it.
Sunday 8/28/11
I wake up at 7:30 after an adventure in my sleep. I was rushing to an airport to catch a flight to california. Don't remember much of the flight just an announcement that we will be stopping in pheonix arizona. Then the flight from phoenix to cali was a little frightening. It was raining. I was sitting next to an older gentlemen and we had a small but friendly conversation. Talking to this man comforted me so much that I forgot about the rain and before I knew it we had landed I'm california. I am unaware of the time. When I got off the plane I was immediately next to a busy street that lead to a parking garage. There I remember feeling so happy that I made it. I wad finally here in california. I was in love. Then all of a sudden there was a lot of smog. And I realized all the cars were polluting so much, this saddened me. Then sad I took in the smell of the smog I realized was just fog. then I felt at ease. All this time next to the busy street I was on the phone with my cousin Brandon. He was in disbelief that I was there. I remember while talking to him I was.thinking how hazy California was. But i then thought out must be from all the weed people are smoking. So then he was on his way to pick me up. automatically I was back inside the busty airport looking for my cousin. we found each other and he lead me to some glass doors which I could see the beautiful sunshine and the waves crashing on the beach. As we get through the doors it is all of a sudden dark. I feel confused. I ask brandon isn't it only 1 o clock in the afternoon? He replies yeah it gets darker here faster . I think okay I guess but I was still feeling skeptical about the eerie darkness. i stop and take a deep breath really trying to smell the wonderful ocean air. i was satisfied with the ocean air and it made me feel such joy to be here. we are along a rocky edged cliff, there are stairs leading downward. these stairs are natural made out of the native rocks here. there are a lot of people trying to get down the stairs. apparently the airport sits on a rocky cliff. we are all trying to get out of the airport. as i was stopped to smell i feel rushed to keep moving by brandon he pulls my hand. but i am still slowed down. i cannot take another step it is pitch black. so i am reaching in my purse trying to find my phone which has a built in flashlight. im digging and searching for it. people behind me are pushing me and i hear them yelling at me to move get out of the way then i finally find the phone. then i fumble with the screen not able to turn the light on for some reason, so brandon says here let me see it, i was thinking no you cant see it its dark then i suddenly turn it on. i was able to light my path on the rocky stairs and we made our way down. this is where i wake up. i can't get over how real it all felt. that is why i decided to write it first thing this morning.
Monday 8/29/11
Weird dream last night. Very random and going everywhere, but the thing that stands out most is that me and mom and the girls were driving along in ft worth and we see a bunch of cars parked at this run down taco place. For some reason we pull in. a lot of the hoods are up on the cars and we see about 4 Mexicans men and women passed out in the cars. Then we come to one convertble sports car and see brad passed out. There is a large Mexican man walking around kind of intimidating but he seems to be under the influence of something. I go to wake up brad, I ask him what he is doing here. Why is he so messed up? what are you on brad? He gets defensive and says nothing but he is smiling. I can tell he is lying. Then the girls get excited and say DADDY! He goes to hug them and saying hi but he is distant still. They are asking him why is he acting like this what is wrong. He only replies nothing is wrong I’m fine. Then this mexican girl sits up, she too was passed out behind brad and asks brad, are these your beautiful girls? Then I wake up.
Just writing this makes me feel uneasy and upset and I want to cry. I just want brad to be a part of their lives.
Sunday 8/28/11
I wake up at 7:30 after an adventure in my sleep. I was rushing to an airport to catch a flight to california. Don't remember much of the flight just an announcement that we will be stopping in pheonix arizona. Then the flight from phoenix to cali was a little frightening. It was raining. I was sitting next to an older gentlemen and we had a small but friendly conversation. Talking to this man comforted me so much that I forgot about the rain and before I knew it we had landed I'm california. I am unaware of the time. When I got off the plane I was immediately next to a busy street that lead to a parking garage. There I remember feeling so happy that I made it. I wad finally here in california. I was in love. Then all of a sudden there was a lot of smog. And I realized all the cars were polluting so much, this saddened me. Then sad I took in the smell of the smog I realized was just fog. then I felt at ease. All this time next to the busy street I was on the phone with my cousin Brandon. He was in disbelief that I was there. I remember while talking to him I was.thinking how hazy California was. But i then thought out must be from all the weed people are smoking. So then he was on his way to pick me up. automatically I was back inside the busty airport looking for my cousin. we found each other and he lead me to some glass doors which I could see the beautiful sunshine and the waves crashing on the beach. As we get through the doors it is all of a sudden dark. I feel confused. I ask brandon isn't it only 1 o clock in the afternoon? He replies yeah it gets darker here faster . I think okay I guess but I was still feeling skeptical about the eerie darkness. i stop and take a deep breath really trying to smell the wonderful ocean air. i was satisfied with the ocean air and it made me feel such joy to be here. we are along a rocky edged cliff, there are stairs leading downward. these stairs are natural made out of the native rocks here. there are a lot of people trying to get down the stairs. apparently the airport sits on a rocky cliff. we are all trying to get out of the airport. as i was stopped to smell i feel rushed to keep moving by brandon he pulls my hand. but i am still slowed down. i cannot take another step it is pitch black. so i am reaching in my purse trying to find my phone which has a built in flashlight. im digging and searching for it. people behind me are pushing me and i hear them yelling at me to move get out of the way then i finally find the phone. then i fumble with the screen not able to turn the light on for some reason, so brandon says here let me see it, i was thinking no you cant see it its dark then i suddenly turn it on. i was able to light my path on the rocky stairs and we made our way down. this is where i wake up. i can't get over how real it all felt. that is why i decided to write it first thing this morning.
Monday 8/29/11
Weird dream last night. Very random and going everywhere, but the thing that stands out most is that me and mom and the girls were driving along in ft worth and we see a bunch of cars parked at this run down taco place. For some reason we pull in. a lot of the hoods are up on the cars and we see about 4 Mexicans men and women passed out in the cars. Then we come to one convertble sports car and see brad passed out. There is a large Mexican man walking around kind of intimidating but he seems to be under the influence of something. I go to wake up brad, I ask him what he is doing here. Why is he so messed up? what are you on brad? He gets defensive and says nothing but he is smiling. I can tell he is lying. Then the girls get excited and say DADDY! He goes to hug them and saying hi but he is distant still. They are asking him why is he acting like this what is wrong. He only replies nothing is wrong I’m fine. Then this mexican girl sits up, she too was passed out behind brad and asks brad, are these your beautiful girls? Then I wake up.
Just writing this makes me feel uneasy and upset and I want to cry. I just want brad to be a part of their lives.
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